Friday, January 28, 2011

Uniting Against Violence Towards Women And Children

One of our team members travelled across the pacific ocean to unite with other mothers at the Battered Mothers Custody Conference. On the spare of the moment, she stopped by at the UN and picked up a UN badge. She wore this badge at the conference, not to symbolise the UN, but a new uprising of a movement that is worldwide. Because this problem is a global one. Its not a "my country - your country" thing. Women and children are being affected by family violence everywhere. Sometimes incorporated or not, there is also child sexual abuse. All these, not only ignored by the system, but arrogantly disregarded with a menace to all those who dare to raise the need for protection as an issue. Its now been proved as a farce that family court cases consist of parents engaging in petty disputes. Some cases may be mistakenly reduced to that behind the scenes by lawyers constrained by Australian legal aids monopoly over the cases as to not raise violence or child abuse. Both are important. The reason why Americans use the word, "mother" is because its a strain of the violence against women disease that affects our planet and needs to be raised. If we raise just child abuse, then we lose the plot by forgetting that it is beyond preferable for the child to have a living mother to raise them.
The problem in Australia is not just about the courts, but also how we raise the issue and balancing the needs of all involved. There is sometimes a need to raise the issue where the mother is not fit, needing the child to be raised by another caregiver. This is not disputed by anyone. This does not mean that "mother" needs to be taken out of the equation. There is alot of mothers out there right now that are getting abused during handovers and this affects the children profoundly. We cannot ignore that. I keep asking people if they have met a women who has not been raped or beaten at least once in their lives. I am still looking. I believe that in Australia, that it must be more than one in three and that the government has been shirking its responsibility to protect these women because of the ambiguity. We cannot ignore the childrens mothers who are surviving violence. You cannot accuse them of not being child focused if they want to be free from violence. They need to be there intact for their children. There is simply no negotiation there. Whoever thought of taking battered mothers out of the equation was extremely ignorant and it is therefore no wonder the early Greeks considered that ignorance was evil. I do not agree with that, but I do agree that the outcome is evil. Its poor form to ignore anyone enduring any kind of suffering.

Mothers are say, alot better off than they were in the 1900's. but there is a long way to go before they are treated with as much dignity as the average human being. Single women escaping violence have an easier avenue than mothers as they do not have children that they care for and want to protect from the violence they know.

Forget Fathers rights arguments - they do not even make sense. Its not about fathers. Its not even about men. Its just about gratifying their fetish for abuse and control. Because of their threats, bullying behaviour - they got their way. The bad behaviour was sadly rewarded. Another poor form example of the Australian government. The problem for both is that apart of this movement are some of the most smartest people in the world are working everyday on this issue. They are from every pocket of expertise whom are also mothers too who know what is really happening. It is inevitable that by uniting as a global movement, laws will have to change everywhere, including treaties and the hague convention as this is a human rights issue and it must be addressed. Conservatives can simply brush this off as a cost that will inevitably bite back later as a long term debt of society as this effects every other part because this was not addressed now. A majority of mothers work and they work hard. Those who don't provide billions of dollars worth of unpaid work within their local schools that governments use as a long term tool to strengthen the economy. Without mothers, this economic wheel stops turning. It was foolish to believe that only men mattered above all, including children. Mental illness as a result of witnessing or being a victim of family violence is continually on the rise. If it were a stock, there would be some very rich people jumping up and down in wall street right now. This is because governments only distribute bandaid proposals without stitching up the gaping wound. Playing upon the factor of local popularity, but forgetting those silent but powerful voices who decide every election who can stop violence against women and children forever. Who is has the brightest ideas on how it can be done?


  1. Hi I'd just like to make a remark on the comment that; "mothers are a lot better off than in the 1900s"

    If only that were so! My mother, who is in her 80s now, was removed, with her two sisters, from an abusive father. She was about 4-5 years old I think. Her mother kept the girls away from their father. She was ABLE to keep her girls away from their pedophile father! These days, family courts would order this mother to return her children to their father, or at least to contacts with their father. If she refused she would be told she might have her children removed from HER care.

    Women in Australia today, cannot escape abuse unless the men abusing them let them go. We are LESS safe, than we were in the 1900s. In the 1900s we could escape, and keep our kids safe. Now we cannot.

  2. What Ruthie says is true. It is now harder to escape. If you do then you would have to go to considerable lengths to create false ID in order to stay hidden. Government staff would probably not dare to do what they did for me back then when I hid out in 1986. After I hit the earning limit on PayPal it took me six months to prove who I was as my ID is permanently fractured until I stop working. In the time it takes you to prove you need to escape your children could be killed to punish you for leaving, as was Darcey Freeman. The only way to stop courts having control is for neighbours and communities to take it back. The courts support the nuclear family/domestic relationship as a bubble in which crimes can be committed without consequences. This includes financial crimes. Communities and neighbours need to help women and children and stop thinking this is an area where courts have all the power to decide and they must butt out. A marriage relationship is not a sacred secret legal area off limits to everyone but the couple and the courts. To the two women who supported me, a neighbor and a friend, I thank you from the bottom of my heart you probably saved my children's lives.

  3. Frances, I wish my community/friends had helped me. They are the reason I didn't leave for many years and my children suffered. Now I have left, it is still the community that is hindering my move forward by not prioritizing my safety, but trying to help him because he cries victim. I wish I could flee with the kids, but he could take me to court. He has a police record and has abused his children, but that would not make a dent in family court - he would still be given some time. And as long as he has access to them, he has access to me. I can't say too much on here, but I just don't see how I can really be free. Even my domestic violence advocate says she doesn't know how to help me.