Saturday, December 11, 2010

Relocation: The Path of Peace

In the wake of Human Rights day, many sentiments were shared about Family court ordered violence being a major issue. An issue that is rarely discussed is the more complex issue. For those who have lobbied for the recent changes wont be able to benefit from the protections available. "Family Law Act: Too Little, Too late" the title for Patricia Merkins article, is an understatement.

This is where victims of violence need the right to leave. The right to leave the state or sometimes the country they are in and convert contact in supervised visits over skype as what would have been offered for them if they had escaped post 2010 Family Law Amendments. The Hague convention, originally designed to stop perpetrators from abusing has now become a major tool to keep the victims within a range where they can continue the abuse.

There has been much controversy over addressing the issue on the freedom to roam and little room promoting the other basic human rights on "freedom to roam". International nomadic families is not only a phenomenon, but becoming a proven, healthy way of life. I have met children who are now adults who have spent their childhoods as nomads within the international realm and they are far more educated, cultured and wiser than those who are constrained to a suburb, just because a father demands it be that way. Why should nuclear families be the only ones privy to this existence?

Mothers, are the ones after all the ones that gave those children life. Mens groups, feminism and the rest have forgotten that fact alone. They use and particularly abuse the fact that there are a few mothers out there that are not mothers at all. Chemicals, disability or other factors have robbed the ability for some women to be able to connect with the very essence of what makes them a good mother. There is a natural instinct, no different from the results that were derived from twin studies that mothers do have a natural connection with their children. I state this important fact not to exclude others that are not mothers within this community, but to raise awareness that mothers are often placed at the last of the que when consideration is concerned. Even in psychiatric textbooks, mothers are the scapegoat of societies ills, they are the problem, the burden - but not realised that if treated properly, they are the cure. The problem is that mothers are the least listened to and considered amongst many subcultures as doormats for the abominations that people have chosen to become.

Thus, when the word, "Mother" arises, the ugly head of how every mother did not meet the pristine 15th century characterture on what mothers must be, what place within society they must be and how they must conform. There are too many ridiculous expectations on what a mother should be that have absolutely nothing to do with the raising of children. How a mother dresses has absolutely no impact on a child who is exposed to Kate Perry in her latest music video featuring all of the things young children are attracted to with the contrast of her naked body on a cloud and a gummy bear using the middle finger.

How could a mother or any parent for that matter compete with the foreboding irresponsibility of our leaders ignoring climate change or killing millions of civilians in war? The eight hours a day, five days a week of schooling indoctrination that our children to follow a state dying within a digitally globalist world? Mothers, have little influence on our children. They are already positioned within the media as an invisible member of the international community. When mothers needed help, it was the plight of fathers that were pedestaled before them and the only thing they ever wanted, was for them and their children to be safe. It is a request that should have never been difficult to ask of, yet one that has taken an enormous amount of time and effort.

Now, there still remains the problem where the families that have already exhausted family court avenues to stop violence against them and the children will continue to struggle. They are the ones that have been re-victimized by the court system, by the governments and by the general community - just for needing to be away from violence. Many argued that such acts were"maternal gatekeeping" or somehow an act of malevolence with little fact or explanation. Yet, when one of the most renown peaceful figures in the world were faced with the choice of fighting or flighting, they chose the most peaceful path and so the Dalai Lama left Tibet.

There is little refuge away from this within the current and future laws for these families. What can be done without little effort is to consider these cases properly as a necessity to grant relocation when they request for it. After all they have been through, both the children and mother can heal from their ordeal with a fresh start, new faces and a diverse learning experience that will equip them for life.


  1. Samantha, I like your comments as you touch on the very situation as it stands now. I would have also preferred to see you include sexual abuse, when you mention violence- the two appear to often go hand in hand today.

    Like you, I wish for major changes that will also affect the cases that have had rulings made prior to the new proposals. I am one such mother, who in a few weeks has to pass my daughter over for family supervised overnight contact. I dread that day very much and I know it will be one of the most difficult moments of my life.

  2. This is the author of the Online Opinion mentioned above. The title of my article was "Family Law Act: Too Little, Too late" not A little too late". In it I outline two main issues for the why I believe the 2010 proposed amendments are too little too late. In 2006 I wrote to the federal AG and explained that the Family Law Act was not protecting children. Further, I warned him that if the problems in the FC were not addressed more children were be killed while in the care of a parent under court-ordered access granted under the FLA. Since then, there have been at least 6 more children killed after a court order that put them into the care of the parent that killed them. How many continue to be abused under court orders is not reviewed. I know of at least 12.
    Trish Merkin.

  3. @ElCid5812 Thank you for the compliment and feedback. When I use the term "Family Violence", I tend to keep in mind that it covers not just violence against women and the children, but also sexual abuse as well. I will keep in mind to raise the issues more specifically in future.

    @TrishSM My apologies, the error has been corrected. Despite the error, I did read and enjoy your article with great care a few days prior to writing this article. The issue of the invisible murdered children and women is something I have been raising for quite some time, throughout this blog and among my colleagues. Its all very well for the Family Court to place public stats on their webpage on which sex gets what time, but they lack transparency when they cannot include how many have died. I am dubious however that the deaths that are raised would not include suicides(Where the abuse was so intolerable), STDs from sexual abuse and other complications as a direct result of enforced abuse. I am sure that if such results were revealed, it would be as minimal as they could get away with. I estimate from Some other statistics that since the implementation of the Shared Parenting Responsibility Bill, that these deaths have risen and continue to rise. I believe that family court related deaths are more than the originally quoted amount(10 a year), that they would go into the hundreds, maybe even more. One only has to look at the child abuse deaths, DV deaths and the amount of family court cases raising abuse - then do the numbers.