Sunday, April 25, 2010

Why Shared Parenting is Extremely Selfish

A great amount of disinformation is going around stating that those who reject shared parenting for children are "selfish". In this article there are several key points where this notion is clearly not true.
1. Children don't really have a place that they can solidly call "home".
When they are required to fill out a form and asked where they live, there is usually one space for one address on the form. A majority of our society reside in one main address and rarely spend 50% of their time at another. These children must constantly pack their bags and live out of a suit case swapping between homes, never feeling settled.
2. Time with Dad is put above breastfeeding.
Infants are being ordered to go on formula if the mother cannot express milk like a machine that is extremely unnatural. Others are ordered a time limit on how long they are to be breastfed for. The time with the parents is put above the nourishing benefits the baby gains from breastfeeding.
3. It attracts dads seeking to deviate from child support obligations.
Mens groups promote shared parenting for the primary purpose to deviate from their obligations with child support. They might use other terminology in their campaign plans, but reduction of child support remains the end result.

4. Maternal Deprivation.
Not only is maternal deprivation unnatural, but also harmful to children emotionally and psychologically. The long term consequences of maternal deprivation might include the following:
• delinquency,
• reduced intelligence,
• increased aggression,
• depression,
• affectionless psychopathy

5. Its completely Disruptive for the child.
Children cannot maintain regular friendships within their neighbourhood. They are constantly shuffled between houses where one parent might have a different bed time to the other, so added to the problem is midweek sleep disturbance and routine disruption.

6. Provides opportunities for stalking, harassment and violence.
Parents who were ordered not to see the children as a result of past violence seek shared parenting as an opportunity to continue the dominant abuser role. Court stalking has become a developed phenomenon in Family courts, where orders are deliberately used as a control mechanism. Some might see shared parenting as a pathway for full custody as a tool to hold the children ransom in return for the mothers full submission to ongoing violence.

7. They cant keep up with outside school activities.
For children subjected to a rigid shared parenting routine where they are undergoing week by week arrangements, find themselves missing out on activity's that they were able to maintain prior to divorce. Most activities outside school require children to attend them weekly in order for them to get anything out of them.

For those lucky parents who are not forced to share parenting have the opportunity to negotiate arrangements around the children to avoid these effects. Most parents are forced in these circumstances and do not have the opportunity to negotiate on behalf of the children s needs. Some chose shared parenting because they felt that they had no choice.


  1. This is so true. Shared parenting is so unfair to the children. I know of one guy who got himself one of those pit viper lawyers who convinced a moronic judge to give 50/50 custody. Mom lives in South Carolina, Dad in Florida, and this genius of a judge has forced these girls, since the age of 10 months old, to spend 12 hours in the car every other Saturday for the parents to 'exchange kids' for a 2 week on, 2 week off period. When I asked this 'dad' how that would work when the kids went to school, his reply was: "I'm hoping she F**K's up by then so I can get full custody." Two years later, she's pregnant again, and toward the end of her pregnancy, was put on bedrest and not able to travel. "Daddy Dearest" showed absolutely no compassion for the mother of his children. He saw it as an opportunity to get her for 'contempt of court' because the 'order' stated that they are each supposed to provide transportation. This 'shared custody' ideal is just that. An ideal. While it's great in theory, the effects are worse than those of divorce.

    Divorce is a gunshot wound, and child support and joint custody are nothing more than band aids.

  2. my children were taken of me because i didnt promote the relationship in between them and their paedophile father who abused them and because some family report writer( who is an psychologist and fathers groups advocate) after couple of hours interview told the court that he found the father at low risk of reoffence and the children at the age where they can protect themselves(which was 10 and 9,9 at the time)